How to Take Criticism

Okay, this should be the last of the revision series.  Now that you've done some editing and sent your work off to friends for feedback, it's time for you to hear what your peer editors think of your work, and sometimes that can be a humbling experience.  So here's some advice for how to take criticism.

First, when you get bad feedback, if it's face-to-face just force a smile and ask for more.  No, really, ask for more.  If your friend/associate tells you you are horrible at characterization, ask for examples of what's bad, for further explanation, and for what you might do to improve.  Don't get defensive.  Sometimes your reader may not understand something, and in that case you may clarify, "I actually meant to do ____ with that character.  Knowing that, does that change anything in your critique?"  Say this in a kind, reserved way.  It's your fault if they didn't understand, not theirs.  This is a chance for your to learn, and if you get defensive or upset, your editor isn't going to want to help you in the future.  So just take it with a grin and ask for more.

Internally, however, or when you're alone in your room, you can allow yourself to go through the grievance process.  Deny every piece of negative criticism they gave you and hate your friend and vow never to speak to them again.  Call them bad names in your head and tell yourself that they could never write anything as good as you.  Then you can realize they may be right and spiral into depression and worry that you'll never amount to anything and think about giving up the whole endeavor to ever write again.

Do whatever you have to, and then pull yourself out of the fetal position on the floor and sit in front of your computer or writing notebook, take a deep breath, and try again.  Look at the sections your editors mentioned and think about what they said.  You asked for their help because you want the book to be better, so really consider their criticism, even if you disagree with it.  Do it for the sake of the story.  You don't have to listen to every piece of advice an editor gives you, but for at least a moment you need to think about how the story might be better if you did follow their advice.

So, be nice, be humble, have a private fit, then actually consider what your editors had to say.  Just because someone didn't like something you wrote, doesn't mean you can't become a great writer.  By listening to criticism, you improve your writing.  Don't be afraid of criticism.  It's good, even if you don't want to hear it.