How to Take Criticism

Okay, this should be the last of the revision series.  Now that you've done some editing and sent your work off to friends for feedback, it's time for you to hear what your peer editors think of your work, and sometimes that can be a humbling experience.  So here's some advice for how to take criticism.

First, when you get bad feedback, if it's face-to-face just force a smile and ask for more.  No, really, ask for more.  If your friend/associate tells you you are horrible at characterization, ask for examples of what's bad, for further explanation, and for what you might do to improve.  Don't get defensive.  Sometimes your reader may not understand something, and in that case you may clarify, "I actually meant to do ____ with that character.  Knowing that, does that change anything in your critique?"  Say this in a kind, reserved way.  It's your fault if they didn't understand, not theirs.  This is a chance for your to learn, and if you get defensive or upset, your editor isn't going to want to help you in the future.  So just take it with a grin and ask for more.

Internally, however, or when you're alone in your room, you can allow yourself to go through the grievance process.  Deny every piece of negative criticism they gave you and hate your friend and vow never to speak to them again.  Call them bad names in your head and tell yourself that they could never write anything as good as you.  Then you can realize they may be right and spiral into depression and worry that you'll never amount to anything and think about giving up the whole endeavor to ever write again.

Do whatever you have to, and then pull yourself out of the fetal position on the floor and sit in front of your computer or writing notebook, take a deep breath, and try again.  Look at the sections your editors mentioned and think about what they said.  You asked for their help because you want the book to be better, so really consider their criticism, even if you disagree with it.  Do it for the sake of the story.  You don't have to listen to every piece of advice an editor gives you, but for at least a moment you need to think about how the story might be better if you did follow their advice.

So, be nice, be humble, have a private fit, then actually consider what your editors had to say.  Just because someone didn't like something you wrote, doesn't mean you can't become a great writer.  By listening to criticism, you improve your writing.  Don't be afraid of criticism.  It's good, even if you don't want to hear it.

Things to Ask Your Editors

This started as a post about people you should ask for help when editing, but after I wrote it I thought, "This is so redundant.  People know who to ask for help: friends who give constructive criticism; those who are kind but honest."  If you don't know that, I just summed up a whole blog post about it in one sentence.  You're welcome.

I realized it would be more helpful to you to know what you should tell your peer-editors.  When you ask a friend, acquaintance, or fellow writing club member to read your fiction, you should give them specific guidelines.  Tell them what you want to get out of them looking over your work.  Here are some suggestions for things to ask/tell them:

1) "I need to know if this is realistic."

2) "I'm not sure my descriptions make sense, or if I have enough."

3) "Is it too preachy?"

4) "Do you think the characters are realistic?"

5) "Could you tell me if the plot slows down anywhere or if I go too fast?"

6) "I want you to let me know if there's something that seems random or out of place, or doesn't add to the plot."

7) "Do these sentences flow well together?  How is the flow overall?"

8) "What do you think of this word-choice?"

9) "My main character seems a little unlikable.  How can I fix that?  Or do you think it's not a problem?"

10) "I love this section but I wonder if it's misplaced or unnecessary.  Should I cut it or move it?  Do you have another suggestion?"

11) "Originally I had this character die, but in this draft they survive to the end.  Which version do you like better?"

12) "I have no sense of spelling or grammar.  Could you do some copy editing for me?"

There are some general guidelines with asking these questions.  First of all, you can ask them for help on very detailed sections of the work, or broad ones.  For example, you can ask for help with a single word, with a few paragraphs, with a chapter, or with the work as a whole.  

Give questions along with your work.
(Photo by the Italian voice)

Second, you should be as specific as possible with your questions.  Don't ever say, "Tell me what you think," because you'll get a reply that's just as vague: "I liked it."  Also, when possible, give them options.  Instead of asking, "Do you think I should cut or move this section?" you might say, "I'm thinking of cutting this, but I really like this part because of ____.  Do you think if I moved it to Chapter 5 or 7 it would still work?"  People always respond to specifics, and generally you'll both be happier if your editor understands your thoughts on the matter.

Third, some people are better with certain things than others.  I have a friend who doesn't know much about writing, but he can tell when something isn't realistic, so I know I can go to him for that but not necessarily anything else.  I also have a friend who is really good with battle scenes since she's actually studied wars through history, so I go to her with help on those.  And another friend actually understands the English language, so I go to him when I'm nearly ready to publish.  Tell people exactly what their job is and they'll focus on it, even if they can't help you with anything else.

Finally, give your work to lots of people with different opinions.  You might give it to one friend and they'll tell you, "This section needs to be changed," and another will say, "This is my favorite part!"  In the end it's your decision what happens, but you'll want to hear several viewpoints before choosing what to do.